Now, I know I haven't been to your house in a while and it might seem i only celebrate your birthday for the gifts and cake, and i havent been to your funeral in a while either, which, if i may say, is every year so its kind of unfair to expect me to show up every year. YOURE the one faking your own death. It was cool the first time but now its just rude. We all know youre faking it.
Anyways, all im saying is this is totally unfair. Its a Tuesday night and im already out of carpaccio and prosciutto, not to mention my gelato is all melted cause the freezer doesnt want to work and were still seating people. Im on my own here! Lets cut a deal, ill fast forrrr...say 15 days, no meat no dairy, and in exchange you clear out some of these people or give me a third arm or something.
Let me know what you think. Try to get back to me soon, im running out of dessert plates. Plus my managers Italian is starting to sound angrier and his hand gestures are starting to look like he's killing someone with an ice pick too.