Magnitude Part 2

The time was around 2:15 and, as I said before in part 1, I was watching the Bourne Ultimatum. The house was empty, not a mouse was stirring, not even a mouse. I, however, was stirring…a cool and refreshing drink for myself, that is. I walked over to the couch and resumed the movie. It was around this point that the couch started to shake. I could feel a light vibration rocking me back and forth. As I sat there, shaking, I took the time to look around me, there was no explanation in plain site. Still shaking, I tried to explain the rocking to myself. Perhaps the dishwasher…or the washing machine, but in order for one of these appliances to move the entire house they would have to make much more noise….and fire. Suddenly, the shaking stopped. Still, unaware of the source of the rocking, I got on my knees and looked under the couch. There was nothing there either. I would have investigated further if I wasn’t in the middle of a movie, but I was.
Shortly after resuming the movie I received a text message from my trusty Italian stoolie, Francesco. The text message wrote:

“Eh pison, you feel that earth-shake. Holy cannoli, I was just a spinnin’ my pizza dough when it happened. Now I got olive oil and pizza sauce all over my kitchen and pizza dough on my ceiling. What am I a gunna do?”

I tried to call and assure him that everything was going to be ok but these Italians, you cant talk sense to them, so I just hung up the phone. I knew that I needed to find out if there were any other survivors from the earthquake so I finished up my movie and turned on the news. I found myself watching testimonies of the survivors, many of them still walking about the streets, probably because they lost their houses. Then I saw some of the most shocking imagery of my life. (Note: if you are reading this aloud and there are children in the room you may want to continue reading as it is advised that young children are read to regularly.) There was a pharmacy in Ottawa that suffered major losses when over five bottles of shampoo fell off of the shelf. There was no word on whether or not the bottles broke but I assume they were rushed to the nearest hospital immediately. The image kept coming on to the screen, I just wanted it to stop. I called my friend Ryan about the earthquake but it seemed that he had been knocked unconscious by the earthquake hours before it struck and wasn’t awake for it.
The events that occurred on June the 23rd, 2010 should never be forgot. I am collecting donations that will go towards a memorial for those lost on this sad day in our lives.


Music:
M.I.A.

Magnitude Part 1

So I was sitting on the couch NOT studying for the exam I have tomorrow watching Bourne Ultimatum, thinking to myself “how wonderful would it be to write a blog right about now? It’s too bad there’s nothing to write about” at which point god opened up the clouds and said “fine, here’s an earthquake, write about that.” And write I will, friends.

It was 12:37, Wednesday the 23rd. There was rubble and debris everywhere. I couldn’t see through the dust. I could hear my mother yelling in the distance and there was faint aroma lingering in the air that reminded me of my childhood. I was disorientated and my mouth was dry. I wasn’t sure how long I had been out or which way I was even facing but I knew I had to make a move soon if I was to get to my mother in time. I crawled towards the door of my bedroom and with my every ounce of strength, reached up and pulled it open, forcing all of the obstructions blocking it out of the way. Immediately the sun hit my eyes and I knew I was almost free. In the distance I could see what looked to be a rescue worker approaching me but I couldn’t see the face. They were tall, wide shoulders, the type of person that could hurt people if they wanted to but instead would dedicate their life to helping. As they got closer, I could hear their voice echoing. I looked up, squinting, thinking of my family. It was at this point when they bent over and yelled “WHY ARE YOU CRAWLING ON THE FLOOR! STOP BEING STUPID AND GO GET BREAKFAST! And CLEAN YOUR ROOM, IT LOOKS LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE HIT IN HERE!” My mother was right, I was being stupid, and my room did look like an earthquake had hit it. So, I stood up and went in to the kitchen to get food.

Conversations With Francesco

Alexandros - says:
you coming or wha
Francesco says:
i didn't get an answer
Alexandros - says:
k night
Francesco says:
WTF
DON'T PUNISH ME LIKE THAT
IT'S NOT MY FAULT ME AND MY DAD DON'T LIKE TO WATCH NOOBS DO COMEDY
IT'S THEIR FAULT FOR BEING NOOBS
Alexandros - says:
BRING YOUR DAD AND BROTHER OR I KILL YOUR SON
Francesco says:
ALEX
I AM YOUR FATHER
Alexandros - says:
LOL

5 a.m.

Well, its five in the morning and i cant sleep. i just had a piece of toast with homemade strawberry jam, some milk in a cup i got from a bar in quebec, and two calcium supplements cause lately my joints have been hurting. i remember getting the free cup at the resteraunt. it had a brand of amaretto on the side of it but i cant be bothered to get up and check what the brand was. anyways.
we were on our way to quebec for a school trip and there was a stop off. my friends had gone to get food at a resteraunt. me and my school mate derek went to join them but didnt feel the urge to order a full meal, wait for it to get made, and then take our time enjoying and savouring said meal all within the fifteen minute window that was our bathroom break. seriously, you would have to order your meal extra rare if not still alive to get it on time. i, being the smartest student on the special ed trip just ordered a coffee since it was still pretty early. i figured however since everyone else had such a nice meal coming to them i might as well get a nice coffee. thats A NICE COFFEE not AN ICE COFFEE, right francesco? but thats a different story all together. so i wanted a nice coffee. you know the kind, with whip cream and syrop and nuts and foam and all that good stuff. while looking through the menu a fish net of an offer caught my salmon of an eye. "free glass with order of coffee"?? i was sold. i ordered the coffee. it was so beautiful when it arrived that i wanted to submerge it in liquid nitrogen and use it as a christmas tree ornament. there was whip cream and...well everything i expected and more. what never occured to me though was the connection between the coffee and the offer of a coffee cup that had an amaretto cream logo on its side. one sip of the coffee however and the connection was made. apparantly in quebec they A) dont i.d. teenagers that come in large groups cause apparantly thats what we WANT them to do and B) dont find it peculiar in the slightest that somebody would order an alcoholic coffee at 11 a.m. none the less, being the enviromentally conscious hero that i am, insisted on NOT wasting the coffee and simply started the days drinking a few hours earlier. Upon entering the bus i promptly greeted my teacher, trying to breathe out as much as possible mind you in hopes that he would catch a wiff of the amaretto that was enjoyed just moments before, and quickly made my way to the back of the bus where i slept all the way to quebec.
hey...thats it! i should just find some amaretto. that will put me to sleep right away!

My First Car

A monologue i whipped up for drama while getting out of the shower. I tell you thats when i think of my best stuff

Dating her was like driving my first car. I loved her but she was just too much on insurance. Maintenance was through the roof and she failed every verbal emissions test, and yet…I’d take her over a Ferrari any day of the week; god knows she can move as fast as one. But she was dangerous. She had no safety features. No airbags, no seatbelts. She was a dangerous ride. She was always spinning out mentally. Her grip on reality was terrible. No traction control whatsoever. And yet despite all of these flaws when I step back and look at the curves on her body...and that spacious trunk, I miss her. I miss the way the seats would hold me when I got in, and the noise she made when I turned her on. Forget the near death experiences I wanted more of her. I wanted to pop her clutch and shift her gears till she started to shake. I wanted to take her around the world, and I would have too…but she just couldn’t handle it. Every time we got just outside of Toronto she would start to rattle and fall apart. I would always take her back and fix her up but I could never get her to hold together long enough to actually go somewhere. I felt obligated to keep trying though. I wasn’t going to give up on my first love. I kept trying until one day we were speeding on the highway and a belt snapped in the engine. She overheated and blew a head gasket. Smoke started spewing from the hood and I couldn’t see where we were going. We smashed in to a wall. I was lucky to escape the flaming wreckage with my life. Maybe one day I’ll take the charred remains and rebuild her, try again. Get her a nice new paint job and buy her some chrome. But for now I need a reliable car. A car than can get me from A to B without running out of gas every ten miles. I may not love her the same way but she’ll get me by. Maybe ill get a mini-van or an old Toyota corolla…