We can learn much from the behavior of those around us. For example, if I Find myself in a town where in everyone is wearing a poncho and sombrero, it would be safe to assume I was in Mexico, or chimichongas. But this is a new blog so on to my point. I was in the movies and I came to the shocking realization that unlike every other aspect of life that has steadily been improving since its creation, movies have been moving backwards. It’s so clear and yet nobody is doing anything about it. When I look around at all of the uncomfortable and miserable people at the theatres I realize that people dont actually enjoy themselves at the movies. It’s a chore. I look in to the drooping faces of disappointed movie go-ers and my heart weeps for them. So here I propose a few adjustments that should be made to all movie theatres based on the behavior of the people forced to suffer through the movies.
First and foremost is the problem with cell phones. People are always complaining about others on their cell phones during a movie, presumably talking to the friend that DIDNT come with them to the movies. My solution? Payphones at the back of the theatres. They’re out of the way, private because of the booth, and will generate extra revenue for the theatres. Alternatively we could bring back the telegraph. However, this option would be more complicated to set up due to the lack of telegraphs there would be outside of the theatre. Aside from the actual phone calls, the glow of the cell phone screens in general are fairly distracting. Be it texting, browsing, or games, people are forced to use their phones because they just aren’t entertained enough at the movies. This is a quick fix. Simply line the Isles with pinball machines and arcade versions of video games, a few ping pong tables near the front, and a pool in the back. This way, everyone can stay occupied during the movie. Now, some would argue that the pinball would just create more light, but this can easily be quelled with sunglasses given out at the door. At first, people will think that they are for 3d effects, but they will quickly realize they’re just sunglasses.
The second problem in the theatres is the utter lack of privacy. Whether you want privacy with a significant other...or just for yourself...you can’t have it without the eyes of RUDE people constantly glaring at you because they’re more concerned about what’s going on in the movie rather than what’s going on in your heart. Love is real and you shouldn’t have to sacrifice it for others. What do I propose? I propose we put up curtains dividing all of the seats from one another. These curtains will allow for extra privacy for when you want to express your love to your girlfriend...or just “enjoy” the movie on a more "intimate" level.
Now, the last problem that most everyone has at the movies is talking. When you think of something really funny to say during the movie or some creative way to improve the dialog, you shouldn’t have to miss out on MORE dialogue just to voice your opinion. How do you prevent a problem like this? Easy, just give everyone a remote control as they enter the theatre that can control the movie. This way, whenever you need to say something to the person next to you or voice your opinion but don’t want to wait and risk forgetting it, you can simply pause the movie, turn around, and voice way. This way, nobody misses a single moment of dialogue.
With a few more innovations I firmly believe that movie theatres can be made more efficient and more comfortable for the future. Until then, however, let’s all try to be strong and suffer through this dark age of movie theatre design.
DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK