Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A thought that has lingered in my head for some time…

Our desire to give in to temptation is officially too great to overcome even for our own good. I haven’t written a blog in a while because I haven’t had anything good to say for a while. My life has been polluted with bad news and sorrow. People giving themselves up to petty temptations and animalistic impulses, and for what? Why bother holding on to the hope that we can be anything more than just animals that walk up right and wear clothes. We know what we want to do. We want to mate, eat, and sleep. Its all we are and all we can be.

I was almost loved but it turns out simple pleasure wins in the fight for love. Its our weakness that we cant understand. Like a drug. We know what we should do and we know what’s right….but we always know what we want as well, and nobody can deny that. There is no overcoming it.

Speak for yourself you say? No. Im speaking for everyone because anyone can deviate from the path they’re on. We are walking a tight rope over an abyss that is every easy way out, cut corner, sin, temptation, shortcut, and detour we’ve ever wanted to take. Just waiting for an excuse to fall. I’ve seen it; better people than you could imagine, beautiful people, giving their lives up to stupid choices.

This is dumb, I’ve known this all along. Its not that this is a new thought to me, I just keep falling in to delusion when I think that there is a chance at finding something better. Maybe Aldous Huxley was on to something. Maybe were all soma junkies just waiting for a good enough excuse to fall off the wagon. Maybe something bad enough can happen to anyone to send them spiraling downwards into an endless pattern of self destructive behavior. Its always easier to say “im broken and not worth fixing” then it is to actually try, right? But even if this is the case I still refuse to become something ive hated for so long. Its like when Johnny said to pony boy “stay golden ponyboy, stay golden.” We all come in to this world golden and to me, that’s something worth fighting for. And even if we do have some dirt on us here and there, it doesn’t mean we should just give up all together. Its like I always say “to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” Hopefully some of us find that one person, because that seems like a good enough reason to stay gold to me.

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